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~ Letters To God From Dogs ~ |
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Dear
God, How
come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever smell one
another? Where are their
priorities? Dear
God, When
we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch?
Or is it the same
old story? Dear
God, Excuse
me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar,
the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named
after a dog? How often do
you see a cougar riding around? We
dogs love a nice ride! I
know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be easy to
rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle! Dear
God, If
a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he
still a bad dog? Dear
God, When
my Mom's friend comes over to our house, he smells like musk!
What's
he been rolling around in? Dear
God, Is
it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps? Dear
God, If
we come back as humans, is that good or bad? Dear
God, More
meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear
God, When
we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in? Dear
God, We
dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns,
clickers, beepers, electromagnetic energy fields, frisbee flight paths.
and scent ID's, What do humans understand? Dear
God, Are
there dogs on other planets, or are we alone?
I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but
all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street! Dear
God, Are
there mailmen in Heaven? If
there are, will I have to apologize? Dear
God, Is
it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can't make
up our minds what NOT to order? Or
is it because of the carpet issue? Dear
God, When
my family eats dinner they always bless their food, but they never bless
mine. So, I've been wagging my tail extra fast when they fill my bowl.
Have you noticed my own blessing? Dear
God, The
new terrier I live with just peed on the Oriental rug and I have a
feeling my family might blame me 'cuz they think I'm jealous of this new
dog. Since they have no
sense of smell, how can I convince them I'm innocent?
Does Petsmart sell lie detectors? Dear
God, May I have my testicles back? |